that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
