Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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