i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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