I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
