I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
