We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
