is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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