Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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