I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
did i walk over a car last night?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just high enough for therapy.
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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