put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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