I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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