The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
