I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
