i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
