Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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