During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
