You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
