I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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