Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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