sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
