Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.

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  (775): somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car. http://tfl.nu/3f74
  Replies (16) Good night (3614) Bad night (829)
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  (310): View more from California

  Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.

  (310): View more from California

  I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.

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  (310): Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail. (310): I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore. http://tfl.nu/tf34
  Replies (11) Good night (3757) Bad night (1051)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..

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  (978): Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969.. http://tfl.nu/r5nl
  Replies (18) Good night (1752) Bad night (4318)
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  (858): View more from California

  He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities

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  (858): He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities http://tfl.nu/i2zo
  Replies (3) Good night (2934) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.

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  (770): Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar. http://tfl.nu/qm52
  Replies (10) Good night (2274) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock

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  (803): Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock http://tfl.nu/bp8m
  Replies (8) Good night (739) Bad night (2622)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.

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  (610): Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey. http://tfl.nu/1z5r
  Replies (5) Good night (1752) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.

  (360): View more from Washington

  DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

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  (360): Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid. (360): DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY. http://tfl.nu/38em
  Replies (8) Good night (2749) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

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  (330): I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date. http://tfl.nu/3kpf
  Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.

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  (540): He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back. http://tfl.nu/es5h
  Replies (14) Good night (1700) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.

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  (727): We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/xk91
  Replies (5) Good night (1785) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives

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  (513): I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives http://tfl.nu/f744
  Replies (7) Good night (1833) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool

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  (775): I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool http://tfl.nu/kxpo
  Replies (1) Good night (1058) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drank your wedding present. Sorry

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  (267): Drank your wedding present. Sorry http://tfl.nu/ilc5
  Replies (1) Good night (269) Bad night (205)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  "my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"

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  (604): "my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really" http://tfl.nu/pubh
  Replies (1) Good night (274) Bad night (135)

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