Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.

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(815): View more from Illinois

we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now

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(323): View more from California

Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you

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(206): View more from Washington

dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...

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(256): View more from Alabama

So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.

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(239): View more from Florida

My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"

(925): View more from California

Best wishes.

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