I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds