can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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