May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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