I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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