It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He did a backflip because drugs
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
