two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
