If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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