how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
you never un-have a 4some
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I need a beard to bite.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
