Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
