babies were throwing up all over the place
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
