ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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