Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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