Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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