ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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