we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
