GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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