i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize