i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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