Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
