Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
