i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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