just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
