This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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