They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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