i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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