i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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