She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
