In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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