So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I look better un-naked...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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