direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
