this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
