i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
