i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
