it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
