he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
