just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
