You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh god it's open bar.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
