you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
