I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
