Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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