OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
